Fun!

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

So, I read that in Tina Fey's autobiography, and I find it hilarious. I'll have to write something similar for the girls at some point.

Things are going well here. I can't believe that this year, I'll be a mother of two. Two! So much has changed, and I'm really looking forward to it all/really nervous about it all. I've been trying to be prepared a bit, but I don't really know what to do. How do you prepare yourself for giving birth to two babies? And then raising them? Is there anything you can do to prepare?!

I suppose we have started to get an idea of everything we need and what we'd like to have. And we're looking at moving into a bigger house outside of London - that is one of my biggest 'wants'. I desperately want to be outside of London. I cannot imagine having to move a double pram through traffic in London and get it on/off the bus/tube.

Speaking of prams, we've found one! (I think.) After having a bit of a look around the shops, we found one that's not too unreasonable (the iCandy one that, when all was said and done, would have cost nearly £1,500 just seemed horrifically over-priced) and is actually really flexible. You can change the seats so the babies are either facing each other, facing out, facing you or one facing out, one facing you (I like to call this last one the 'Knock it off, you two!' position for the pram. I imagine it will be immensely useful when I can't get them to stop kicking one another, as that seems to be their favourite activity at the moment. (Yep, they're still kicking up a storm. George can actually feel them now, and sometimes you can see my belly move from the force of the kicks!)

Other than that, all seems to be going well. I've managed to mess up my leg a bit. I've had a pain that won't go away, so I went to see the doctor. She said I've done one of two things: I've either managed to tear a muscle a bit (knowing my clumsy ways, this is probably easily done) or I'm having referred back pain (which again is completely plausible). I'm just supposed to take it easy (hard to do when walking with gusts of 60mph winds hitting you!), put heat/cold on it as needed and come back in a week if it's still hanging out. Seems simple enough!

I do find it funny, though, how I never remember hearing about all of this as part of pregnancy. You hear lots about morning sickness, a bit about the tiredness (but I was so unprepared for just how tired I would feel) and a few other little things. But there's a huge list! Back pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, pain from your tummy stretching or the kids having a kick about, stronger/sharper nails (although I still haven't seen the lovely glowing skin I've heard so much about ...), toilet problems and so on. But that's all part of it! Hopefully the girls appreciate all my body is doing to give them a good home. And if they don't, then they'll realise it one day I'm sure. Probably when they go through it themselves.

OK, I think dinner is done. I can't seem to find my kitchen timer, so I'm just guessing and keeping an eye on the time. But since my brain isn't really holding much in (I frequently find myself going into a room and not remembering why I'm there), it's probably not the most reliable way to go about it all!

Hope you're all well and enjoying the new year!

Love,

Erin